One With Horses

Chapter 1: Perspective

Reshaping Our Beliefs

The Disillusioned Dream

It wasn’t the best Tuesday, and a rather unexpected day for an epiphany. Everything around me was crumbling. My once-perfect relationship was disintegrating in a flurry of abuse, and depression’s dark veil descended upon me. As an American living in Australia, I felt alone with no secure sense of home.

Thankfully I did have something that had always been my savior during tough times—horses. On this particular Tuesday I was photographing top equestrians during an Olympic training clinic. As my camera clicked away allowing the power and majesty of these graceful creatures to distract me from my woes, a shattering revelation shifted my reality in the blink of an eye. Through my viewfinder, I saw, as if for the first time, the pain, stress and abuse these beloved horses were enduring.

Throughout the following week, the images I captured inundated my mind. The horse who sliced his belly open jumping over the arena fence shifted from suffering a momentary lapse of concentration to bearing the consequences of a desperate attempt to escape. The white-lathered foam frothing from the mouth and nose of another was no longer the result of simple exertion, but the manifestation of misery. And the mare who was dangerously overheating, not from the warmth of the sun but because stress had shut down her ability to perspire. I felt sick. There had to be another way. My entire being knew there was a way to meaningfully connect with horses without making their lives miserable.

I could not unsee what these horses endured, and I could no longer continue down the path I was following. It contradicted my whole reason for being with horses in the first place and seemed insane that it could be happening in this day and age. A picture tells a thousand words, and suddenly I could plainly see the anguish captured in the horses’ eyes. I did not have the expertise the Olympic equestrians had, but I did have common sense and compassion.

Why couldn’t the other riders see what I could see? Was it because their perspective was skewed by the immense personal and financial investment it took to reach their goal? Was it because they were so dedicated to the status quo that they had no desire for change? Perhaps being trained by the best instructors in the world, they simply had full faith and trust in the methods they were taught. Maybe those authorities were Olympic gold medalists themselves.

I was determined to find a better way. My quest led me to John Chatterton, a natural horseman living in Australia. He began to chip away at my traditional notions of horsemanship, sharing the secrets of bonding without domination. He showed me how to connect with horses using communication, allowance, patience and non-judgment. There was no turning back. Eventually, I discovered Stormy May, whose film The Path of the Horse introduced me to Alexander Nevzorov and Klaus Ferdinand Hempfling. They proved it was possible to ride at an exceptionally high level with no tack at all. So why, I wondered, did the highly skilled Olympians use double bridles, spurs and whips?

For the next sixteen years, I trained with countless coaches and mentors developing my knowledge and skills. I could differentiate between the masters and showmen. I saw many wannabe gurus peddling their natural horsemanship clinics, books and DVDs promoting methods even more violent than the worst dressage techniques. I called it ‘natural horsemanshit’ and I could smell it a mile away. Separating the wheat from the chaff, I sifted through many approaches and so-called experts until I found the most gifted teachers with incredible insight into the practice of genuine, compassionate horse humanship.

And then something surprising began to occur. What began as a search for practical application and new principles of horsemanship transformed into a journey of life lessons. In combination with the wisdom learned from the horses, I realized the perspective and qualities that improved our experience with horses could impact every aspect of life. The conversations I had with these equine specialists revealed common themes of connection with horses and all animals, of expanding our awareness (especially of ourselves), and the way nature is guiding us toward conscious evolution.

For me, the first step was a shift in perspective. It was time to question what I always thought was the normal way of doing things.

The Parable of the Roast

A little girl was watching her mother prepare a roast for the oven, carefully cutting the ends off both sides before placing it in the pan. The girl asked, "Why do you cut the ends off, mom?" Her mother replied, "Because my mother taught me how to cook and this is the way she did it." So the next time the little girl saw her grandmother, she asked, "Grandmother, why do you cut the ends off the roast before putting it in the oven?" And her grandmother replied, "Because that's the way my mother showed me how to do it." Luckily, the little girl's great-grandmother was still alive, and the little girl went to visit her. The girl asked her great-grandmother the same question and her great-grandmother said, "Because many, many years ago, we could only afford a small oven. I had a pan that fitted inside it perfectly, but it was a wee bit small for a roast, so I always had to cut the ends off to make it fit." "Aah," said the little girl. "Now I understand. Mother and grandmother just did it exactly as you had done. They learned how but forgot to ask why."

My training had taught me how and now I was asking why? Why do I want to ride? Why do I use a bit? Why do I put shoes on my horses? Why do I keep my horse in a stable at night? Why do I spend my very limited time here on earth doing things on autopilot? Why was I taught so much that I now feel is incorrect?

It’s easy to take on what we are taught by our culture, by our schools, by our parents and teachers without question. I was cutting off the ends of the roast because that is what others had taught me. What did I really want? I wanted connection; and to achieve that, I had to re-evaluate what I was doing and what I believed.

Altering Beliefs

Releasing a belief system is a whole process in itself. Each time I upgraded a belief, it felt like I lifted the veil on a lie I had been fed, where I took on society’s ideas of what was considered normal without even investigating the consequences. I neglected to sense what was invisible, my cultural blind spots. Horses can lay bare our unconscious assumptions, increasing our awareness of our thought patterns and behaviors.

I began to question everything. Why do I want to ride horses? Why do I have to go to school, get good grades, go to university, get a good job, make money, buy a house, have children and then teach them to do the same thing? I realized what I had been told wasn’t necessarily true and it most certainly wasn’t the only way. My first reaction was outrage. Yet, I had to move on from the anger and take a closer look at my choices. What would I like to do? What’s the alternative? Is there another option? Maybe I want to do things differently to what I was taught.

Finding what works for you requires deep exploration. Our hopes and dreams are often thwarted by obstacles. When you come up against an obstacle, whether with a horse or in another part of your life, at some point you have a choice to create a new possibility. I have found that the most difficult horses and most challenging life situations, the ones that have rocked me to the core, are the exact situations I needed to experience in order to grow. This is not necessarily easy or fun. Yet, I often encourage clients to continue working with a difficult or traumatized horse because those horses are the ones that stretch us, and sometimes force us, into growing. Often, when you look back at what you have been through, what you have learned and who you have become, you can appreciate the obstacle that catalyzed your growth.

Although we do not have the power to change anything outside ourselves, we do have the power to change how we see it and to view apparent negativity as an opportunity. Oftentimes it's easier to see the benefit in hindsight, but the choice we make in each moment is either to evolve and expand, or to stay stuck in a repetitive pattern.

Most people say they want a connection with horses. What I have learned is that connection occurs in the apparent nothingness of each moment. It’s not striving or doing, it’s spending relaxing time together with no agenda. Nobody can learn or connect in a state of survival or anxiety, just as the stressed horses at that Olympic dressage trial could not learn or connect. When there is expectation toward a certain outcome, there is a tension that makes it impossible to attain connection or grace. Once we let go of our expectations and shift our perspective, we can surrender to the truth of what is really happening.

As I explored further, my new path led me to the people whose philosophies touched a core part of me that yearned to connect with horses like they did. The horse-human dynamic I was witnessing day to day was still vastly different, with palpable tension within the horses and their humans. This is when I realized there needed to be a bridge that helped people cross this huge chasm, from the old way to the new, for everyone’s happiness.

Wisdom from the Horses

Your perspective initiates the first inkling of transformation in your interaction with us, the majestic horses. A crossroads emerges before you, a choice to stay on the well-trodden road or to follow our gentle whispers, beckoning you into a realm where your true longing is awakened. By releasing the shackles of restraint, you graciously grant us the liberty to choose; in that freedom, you witness the unadorned truth. 

We, the horses, stand as spiritual equals. The notion of human superiority is a misconception. The ancient script of dominance etched into your culture, crumbles to dust with the profound understanding we offer—a dance of partnership, not control. It is the grand unravelling, a reevaluation of societal doctrines passed down through generations.

We gently ask you to ponder your beliefs. For example, how can you love animals and also eat them? How can you change the world if you can’t change what you eat for breakfast? How can you say that you love your horse unconditionally and yet train them to be obedient to your every whim? Is this love or is this mere use?

Since you no longer need us to pull carriages, plow fields and carry you into battle, what shape does our new relationship take? If it is for pleasure, then whose joy prevails? We are sentient beings, with acute awareness and expanded consciousness. We are more than mere tools for humanity’s disposal. 

Now, a new horizon appears—a chance to redefine, to foster a space for us to thrive unburdened. It's not a shift in training techniques; it's a complete pivot, a metamorphosis of perspective. See us not as subjects to be shaped but as partners, friends, teachers, and guides in the great mystery of life.